Terence Trent D'arby - Sign your name high quality

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If my eyes are the windows to my soul,
I want to bare them to you
so you can see deep inside
Know that I have nothing to hide, no malicious intent
when it comes to you
So we can continue to connect
Because even in my Soul I know
I need you.

We Won't Remember Everything

There's many memories we will have
of our time together
Laughs and experiences we've shared
Times that were emotionally difficult
and times filled with great joy
But there are things we won't remember
We won't remember all of the doctor's appointments
We won't remember all of the hours of dialysis
We won't remember all of the times they stuck you at the hospital
trying to get blood from tired, shy veins
We won't remember how many hospital ER visits there were
or endless consultations with ER doctors
We won't remember how many pills you had to take
each day just to survive
BUT we will ALWAYS remember your smile
And how your voice sounded when you called our names
or told us that you loved us
We'll remember the lessons you taught us
trying to mold us into strong men and women
We'll remember how glad you were to be at home
Knowing we would honor your wishes
and cherish your last days with us
We'll remember being by your side, caring for you
and watching over you when the LORD came for you.
There are things we won't remember, Mama
but your Example and your Love
We definitely will.

We Weren't Given Manuals

We are all born naked,cold, and oftentimes alone in this world. Sometimes we have families that attempt to nurture and protect us, and sometimes we only have whoever will take care of us for the moment. I truly believe that my parents did the best they could to prepare me for this life, but some things you have to learn and deal with on your own. No one has all of the answers; and not all answers work for everyone. It took a long time and a lot of patience for me to come out of my depression after my father passed away; I had the love of what I thought was a good woman and family support. When that relationship ended I felt dead inside and betrayed; betrayed not only by her but also by our so called friends who knew what was going on but didn't bother to tell me.

No one knows how long these hurts take to heal. There isn't always a straight answer for why bad things happen to good people. As humans we like to think we are the most intelligent creatures on the planet, but oftentimes we have to make the same mistake a few times in order to learn from it. We have to remember that hindsight is 20/20 for a reason; because we can sit and look back at a situation removed from the feelings or pressure we face at the time of the situation we are now mulling over.

It hurts when people we love lie to us. It hurts worse when they turn out to be someone or something totally different from what we thought they were. But we have to cut ourselves some slack' we are only human. We have wants, needs, fears, and insecurities. We have to go through life and face situations we were not trained for. We rely on our instincts and sometimes they are wrong. All of our experiences make us who we are; sometimes the journey to get there is paved with many successes,and sometimes there are a lot of broken promises and painful memories mixed in with it.

We weren't given manuals on how to fix broken people. Nothing was handed out during high school to help you understand that heartache takes a huge toll on your body as well as your spirit. The world is full of evils that our parents never had to face. We are all just human and we have to learn and adapt in order to not just survive, but to live. Give yourself some credit for making it this far. Then Give yourself some time to heal. In time you will, and be a better person for it. I have faith.

******PS: Even if we were given manuals, how many men would have read it?

"As the nation approaches its 57th Presidential Election, we're asking the future leaders of this country, students, to define the single most important political issue in this election."

The single most important issue facing this country in my opinion is the economy. We all are suffering from this retched state of affairs; some people are jobless and are losing their homes while others are having to cut back significantly on things, being thankful just to still have jobs. As a student, the economy is an important issue because when I graduate I will have a mountain of debt and if I cannot find a job, no way to pay it off. I, like many older college students, decided to go back to school in an effort to gain knowledge and skills that would make myself more marketable to employers. When I started school, the economy had not yet tanked. Watching the economic practices of this country make the situation in this country worsen over time has me alarmed as well as most Americans.

Every candidate is promising to create jobs, but no one is being realistic as to what it will take in order to do this. As a nation, we have to stop borrowing money we cannot repay or selling bonds we cannot buy back to raise money to fund our government, our military, or anything else the politicians already in office want to spend it on. We absolutely have to balance this budget and begin to pay the deficit down. Partisanship and politics need to be put aside for the good of the people. If we can straighten the economy out and pay the deficit down, the economy will come out of this recession and jobs will be created. 

There are many ways in which we can cut the deficit and create jobs, and one of them is to bring our military home from both Iraq and Afghanistan. A fighting force is easier and more cost effective to run with our soldiers at home or in places where there is no conflict. Close and secure our border with Mexico by taking some of those soldiers who served in Iraq and Afghanistan and placing them along the border to patrol it. Guns and drugs find their way across the Mexican/American border but this would be less likely to be a problem if we had seasoned, trained security to patrol this area, which is a little over 1,900 miles long. Our current border patrol is not funded well enough to deal with these problems.

We need to stop sending monetary aid to countries that do not want anything to do with us besides take our money. We currently send millions in aid each year to Pakistan, a country that clearly does not support our efforts to quell terrorism. Pakistan is infamous not only for not sharing intelligence with us about terrorists like Osama bin Laden but also for harboring these criminals and the organizations they belong to. We send countries like Pakistan money in an effort to try and buy cooperation from them; the politicians who are in charge now apparently do not see that the Pakistanis give us what information they want us to have. I realize that things have to be done in order for our country to be safe and that we may not always agree on what those things are, but it is apparent that sending money to countries where we are so hated is not working.

I would like to close by saying there is no one trick to fixing the economy. Tough decisions have to be made and there has to be follow through. It is up to us as United States Citizens to hold our policy makers accountable for their actions by voting them in and out of office.

This is an official blog entry for the YourLocalSecurity.com Blogging Scholarship. If selected, I'll receive $1000 towards my college expenses in 2012. This scholarship is sponsored by YourLocalSecurity.com

Happy Thanksgiving Munsters style!

Personal

Now that the academic part of this is over, I will make this blog more personal. There happens to be some reservation in my mind as to whether or not I should do this at all. I may not be as personal as I would like to be because quite frankly I am scared. I let too many people in to get close to me and most of them hurt me. I may use this as a tool to help me get past my hangups, but I may just post some musings from time to time. Either way, welcome again to my place.